Do you remember The Carpenters song Rainy Days and Mondays? It started like this:
Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old
Sometimes I’d like to quit
Nothin’ ever seems to fit
Nothin’ to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
It was a beautifully sung albeit sad song. That’s how I’m feeling today. It’s Monday, it’s been rainy and I’ve got the blues.
I’m not sure exactly what’s going on. Perhaps it’s the fact that for the past three weeks I’ve been wide awake and up at four or five o’clock every morning. Now, I’m a woman who needs her sleep and this waking up early is literally for the birds not me.
My depression has raised it’s ugly head today. I was driving home from running errands this morning and the disc jockey on the radio station I was listening to said “maybe you’re heading out on vacation today.” He said it with such enthusiasm I couldn’t stand it. I felt my eyes fill with tears and said to him (even though he couldn’t hear me) “No, I’m not. I’m headed back to where my life is upside down!” Arghh.
My world is upside down due to circumstances beyond my control and not of my making. The only thing I can control is how I deal with them. Today I’m not dealing so well.
I share this with you not for sympathy, but to let you know depression and anxiety can hit out of the blue or gloom as it did today. You can feel fine for a while and then “boom,” you feel like shit and that’s exactly what and how I feel today.
So what am I going to do? Well, I’m going to write this post, maybe cry a bit and lament about the seriousness of the problems I’m facing and then maybe I’ll take a nap.
Yep! A nap is a good distraction for this gloomy Monday. It will help give my body and mind much needed rest. For the duration of said nap I won’t have to think about things. I’m sure later today or tomorrow I will feel better.
Wishing you all a happy, sunny Monday and a wonderful Fourth of July tomorrow.
Blessings, Peace and Love,