Posted in affirmation, anxiety, authentic self, depression, Emotions, faith, Friendship, inspiration, life, spiritual, Therapeutic Lessons

I Just Dropped In

parachute…I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in…”

Kenny Rogers and The First Edition

Hi, Lovely People –

As the song lyrics above state, I just dropped in today to see what condition my condition was in.

If I am being honest, and I am honest, I would say my condition over the past few weeks has been mostly cloudy with a 90% chance of rain.  Despite all the tricks in my therapy arsenal, my depression crept in and for the most part remains.  Depression is an ass-hat and ass-hats don’t look good on anyone…especially me.  I am not a hat person.

I wish I could pinpoint one specific reason for this dark hole I am in, but, alas, it is a combination of things.  I am exhausted.  I am frustrated.  I am fearful.  I am sad.  There is no joy in Mudville, folks.  I pretend everyday there is joy, but it is a facade.  A fake.  A fraud.

They (whoever they are) do say “fake it ’til you make it,” so that’s exactly what I’m doing.  I am, however, getting rather tired of faking it.  What I really want to do and what I am doing right now is telling anyone reading this that my life right now is in shambles.  Anything and everything that can go wrong is going wrong.  It’s one big pile of shit.

I know all about positive self-talk and putting out positive vibes.  I get it.  I do that and more and still shit pile.

Despite all my belly aching today, there are some positive things coming up for me.  I get to see my beloved therapist next week.  We have a lot to discuss.  Also, towards the end of October my dear friend is taking me for a short get away to the beach , which both she and I love.  I cannot wait to bury my toes in the sand, watch a sunset, collect seashells, and do a social experiment with her that we’ve actually done once before.  I will fill you in on how that goes once we return.

So there you have it, the condition my condition is in…”yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, what condition my condition was in.”

By the way, I love the song Just Dropped In by Kenny Rogers and The First Edition.

Here’s a link if you want to take a listen JUST DROPPED IN

Blessings, peace and love,

Diane

 

Author:

A journey of self.

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